I have had a tumultuous week. I have been disappointed with myself. Somehow in the past week I have mislaid my flair and inspiration. I have not created anything worthwhile for many days and it is beginning to frustrate me, especially with open submissions looming.
Work has been full on busy and i worked an extra overnight shift which led to tiredness, also my twin boys have a sniffle and spent a great deal of the nights crying, only settling if rocked in my arms.
I am so tired, worn out and it has been impossible to try to produce a thing. I started a horror story that I discussed. I stalled at about 1600 words, I also started a medieval fantasy and again got to 3500 words and stopped. I look at the screen and I am writing the equivalent of a monotone voice. Flat, boring, droning on with no interest.
So, I went back to try some short stories again to kick-start the creative juices. Yeah, that didn’t work!
In a way I am over thinking things, what could be, what will be, what should be. and not one of these things leads to good writing. I am in desperate need for a win, a success no matter how minor. I have lost enthusiasm and despite wanting to write the loss is causing some doubt in my own ability and all told it is crippling my output. I am questioning everything. it is not working. I can’t stop the desire, the need to create. it’s just what is being created is crap. The more it goes on the worse it gets.
I can still think of ideas, but I just cannot get over the first hurdle. ARRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
That is all!
Peter Lewis, Writer 