Posts Tagged ‘Despair’

I have had a tumultuous week.  I have been disappointed with myself.  Somehow in the past week I have mislaid my flair and inspiration.  I have not created anything worthwhile for many days and it is beginning to frustrate me, especially with open submissions looming.

Work has been full on busy and i worked an extra overnight shift which led to tiredness, also my twin boys have a sniffle and spent a great deal of the nights crying, only settling if rocked in my arms. 

I am so tired, worn out and it has been impossible to try to produce a thing. I started a horror story that I discussed.  I stalled at about 1600 words, I also started a medieval fantasy and again got to 3500 words and stopped.  I look at the screen and I am writing the equivalent of a monotone voice.  Flat, boring, droning on with no interest.

So, I went back to try some short stories again to kick-start the creative juices.  Yeah, that didn’t work!

In a way I am over thinking things, what could be, what will be, what should be.  and not one of these things leads to good writing.   I am in desperate need for a win, a success no matter how minor.  I have lost enthusiasm and despite wanting to write the loss is causing some doubt in my own ability and all told it is crippling my output.  I am questioning everything.  it is not working.  I can’t stop the desire, the need to create.  it’s just what is being created is crap.  The more it goes on the worse it gets. 

I can still think of ideas, but I just cannot get over the first hurdle.  ARRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

That is all!