I have been pondering recently on what it is to be a writer, and before you all start to groin about me on a downer, I’m not!  No I have been on the next stage of finding out what it is to be a writer, I have been reading guides on writing, from ‘Penguin’s Writer’s Manual’, to Oxford University Press’ ‘A-Z guide to punctuation and grammar’, and many more.  There are a lot out there to choose from and I have six that I am making my way through.  I’m learning new things everyday from these books, but they do tend to cover the same ground. 

What is clear is that writing is like War.  Let me go through this analogy.  A writer is a 5 star general, or if like me your British, a Field Marshall, safely behind the lines of anonymity we sit with our forces laid out in front.  Our troops are made up of grammar, a division of vocabulary, our mounted cavalry of computers and our squadron of research books.  We position our troops strategically, carefully to optimise the impact of them, then we unleash our ultimate weapons our artillery of ideas if you will.   And then the ultimate solution, my solution, my Atomic bomb, my intercontinental Ballistic Missile is the question, ‘What If?’.

What if?  Is a powerful question and is certainly the question that starts off all my writing. I look to the garden and ask what if the sky was pink? what if I saw a plane flying overhead in flames?  what if I look out to the garden and it wasnt there?

It is this line of questioning that forms the basis of my writing and I am sure most people’s writing.  People ask writers where do ideas come from, how do you come up with this stuff, and the answer, for me, is very simple, What If?

A writer must be inquisitive, must be more analytical than Sherlock Holmes, more disbelieving in truth than Fox Mulder, and more obstinate and determined than a blood hound on a hunt.   The attributes of a writer is something that often bubbles to the surface of the protagonist, our main characters can often be reflections of ourselves, they can often show the traits that perhaps we strive to have, or even some of our worst aspects that we dislike of ourselves, and that causes conflicts in our creations.  This is prevalent in the works of Stephen King, often the central character, like King, battles addiction (Revival, The Shining, Doctor Sleep).  Often the central character is a writer (The Dark Half, Misery, Finders Keepers), reinforcing the idiom ‘write what you know’.  When I read Stephen King, and I do, a lot!  I feel that with each book he reveals more of himself.  

It is with interest I read lots and see if I can see through the masquerade of words to the heart of the novel.  At GCSE, A-level we were taught not to take the text at face value but to look behind for the hidden meaning, like in William Golding’s Nobel wining ‘Lord of the Flies’ as every student of a certain age can tell you, it is about the hidden seed of evil within all of us and how, without rules and the constraints of society we are no better than savages.  this is true, but, what if this was just a metaphor for the darker side of Golding, not just his character, what if deep down he rather be a little native.  a little less constrained by the rigours of post war England, or even a reflection on how the world was fundamentally changed in the years 1939-1945 by the acts of barbarism, or from the perspective of an  onlooker, a society withdrawn from decency where such atrocities existed.  Maybe the story tells us more about him?

Anyway I digress, we are talking ideas, as you can see by the above post, ideas run away with me.  No bad thing sometimes, but how about having a look at someone elses views on the subject and who better than one of the worlds foremost ideas men, Neil Gaiman, see what he says here:

 
As always I welcome comments!
 

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A writer’s life is not an easy one.  I have spoken in the past of how a wordsmith is beset with rejection.  But there is another issue, and maybe I am alone in feeling like this.  Every writer has a fierce protection of their work.  They spend hours, days, months working on things, even a short story can take so much time and mental agility to reproduce.  from idea to concept to finished article, it is a process that at any stage the ice beneath their feet can crack.

That is the best analogy I can think off.  Imagine a writer’s journey is getting from one side of a frozen lake to another.  Some, take a sensible option and walk around the edge. tentatively writing their work, checking, stopping for lunch, reviewing.  The issue with walking the water’s edge is one does not dip their toe in, and the lake could turn into an ocean and they never produce anything for the public to see.  Most, however, take a more direct route.  They walk straight across.   This is a tried and tested path.  The writer will sit and observe others walk across the lake, they make it look so easy.  Sitting on the bank and watching as the successful wave to you from the other side, beckoning you to join them.  So, you have an idea and take the first steps across the ice.  Your footing is solid, very firm underfoot, confidence grows so you take another step and another.  The idea develops and you start to write.  The ice begins to creak, that artificial straining and cracking sound all around you. So you cautiously walk further.  It is too late to turn back, some do though, they then take the long path, but you don’t you bravely carry on.  Nearing the centre of the lake, which to me represents the end of a first draft.  This is where it gets very precarious.

At the middle is often where the ice breaks for me.  And I am using the ice as a metaphor for confidence in my writing.  I show my draft to someone, doesn’t matter who it is, I show the draft or enter a competition, and when the inevitable criticism comes the ice cracks a little more.  I listen to the help that is offered, and crack, crack splash, I have fallen through the ice.  The water is cold, as is my mood, I feel like I cannot get out, so much effort went to get to the middle of the lake, the water is full of writers in the same situation.  Eventually you get back to dry land.  The process starts again.

This is what happens to me, it is how we react to the ice breaking that determines how successful we are.  I wouldn’t change the criticism I receive because at the end of the day, each bit of advice I get makes the ice a bit thicker.  I do, however, react badly to the advice.  Why?  because of the effort I have put in.  it seems that someone is attacking me and that I have wasted my time. But I look down on the ice and I see my reflection, I see all the hopes, dreams and aspirations in that ice.  I look up, and I see the writers all on the other side of the lake, waving, beckoning me and again I take those steps out on to the thin ice.

It has been an incredibly long week.  I have been working lots, in my job unfortunately.  However, I have had a productive week.  I have produced entries for three competitions, and have submitted to the Alzheimer’s Research Pratchett anthology.  I am very proud of the submission and have been working to complete the story.  I think I am about half way through, which is great, the story has taken  off in a really good way and I am happy with the progression.

I am also going to be making an entry to the MASH stories quarterly competition which takes 3 words and those words must appear in the text.  This quarters words are Congress, Art and Jealousy.  I have written an entry which I am happy with, but I am going to refrain from submitting it as it has developed in my mind to actually a cracking good story.  it is only 500 words long and would make a great synopsis for a novel.  I think that is where that story will go.  Maybe look at writing it as a novella?

I still have 65 days to make an another entry to MASH which is great, I think I have a basis for a story which will entertain.  if you are interested in mash the link is http://mashstories.com/

Last week I told people about the Bath flash fiction Ad Hoc competition which is running weekly.  A keyword is given and a story of only 120 words or 888 characters must be formed using that word.  I have entered my second entry as I did not win last time.  Hopefully it will appear on the site Wednesday for public voting and you can view them here:  http://bathflashfictionaward.com/2015/04/ad-hoc-fiction/

I know that some of my readers are from outside the UK, so I will say a few things about recent events.  Firstly, we have had an election.  A new government has been formed and as it always does causes discussion and debate.  Like it or not, we have a Conservative majority and they are now solely in power.  Good luck to them!

Another major event is the second major earthquake to hit Nepal.  it is not a wealthy country and it was devastated a couple of weeks ago from an earthquake, and in the middle of clearing the first a second hits.  Can I urge all my readers to donate something to the Red Cross to help.  My family struggle sometimes with money, as I am low paid, as is my partner, yet we have found what spare money we have to give, so please, do likewise. http://www.redcross.org.uk/en/Donate-Now/Make-a-single-donation/Nepal-Earthquake-Appeal

Well, that concludes this weeks post.  A bit late as I didn’t really know what to say.  But, it is part of my redoubled efforts to update as often as I can, every week ideally.  and so I have.  As always I welcome comments. 

My message for this week is this:

We are lucky that we have the freedom and capability to express our thoughts, desires, we are privileged.  There are those in the world that have lost much due to war and natural disasters, lets help them out this week.  A little can go a long way!

 

 

It has certainly been a slow but positive start to my new writing lifestyle.  I have invested in writing guides, looking through Amazon at the plethora of self-help guides was, frankly, uninspiring!  Seems that a lot of people who have a single story published miraculously become writing experts and can write an eBook guide.  However, I have settled on a trusted name which was the Writers & Artists guide to writing a short story and novel.  They might be useful, they might not be.  I shall read and review them here next time. 

Another aim was to go on some courses. I have investigated this and decided that I will register in the first instance for a beginners course for creative writing.  This is run by the local arts university and, although a bit more expensive than the local college course may be more of what I need.  The course does not start until September so until then I will examine the writing guides and writing magazines for hints, tips and stratagems.

Now to the slow start.  Following my scarlet fever it has been a hard week at the day job.  Working 10 hour shifts for 6 days has been trying and exhausting.  However, I have written something, i have started a paranormal short story that has ballooned into a longer piece than I thought and I am continuing to write it to see where it goes, I am thinking that it might be more of a novella.  I showed my partner and her comments were very positive.  buoyed by this I entered a flash fiction competition of 120 words at the Bath Ad Hoc Flash Fiction and will see if I am voted as a winner.  The field is very strong, and as a result I am not holding out too much hope, but, it has to be attempted. 

In other news, I have found a submission for entry to an anthology in memory of the late Sir Terry Pratchett in aid of Alzheimer’s Research.  Sir Terry has played a massive part of my life ever since I read Mort and laughed ’til I cried.  The competition is a short story with a humorous bent around the subject of memory.  I think that, by following Sir Terry’s own rules, I can concoct a funny, fantastical story that will entertain and amuse.  I, myself, lost my grandfather to Alzheimer’s related illness, I remember seeing him in the latter stages of his condition in the secure ward.  I was about 25 when I last saw him and he thought I was still 14! He kept asking me about school, and what did I want to do when I grew up.  It was heartbreaking to see the Second World War veteran of the RAF reduced to only knowing who I was a quarter of the time, and my father only half of that. 

Which brings me on to the next point that of motivation.  A writer needs to feel motivated.  Motivation can be the difference between a magnum opus and drivel.  It is my weak spot.  things get in the way, work, family television the excuse that I am researching.  I need to be determined, focused and most of all motivated.  and this competition certainly sees me gain motivation.  I am determined to produce a piece of work that will not only entertain but make it into the anthology.  I want to help preserve the memory of one of my literary heroes who showed how bravely one could face up to a terminal illness with dignity and earn the respect of so many, but also to help preserve the memory of my grandfather. 

It is a little bit of a downer speaking of relatives passing away especially with such a disease that eats away at the very core of who someone is.  But let’s be a little cheery.  The focus is on the writing.  and that is what  I am off to do

 

Write this day, write the next day, write everyday!

 

If you have been affected in any way by the issues discussed today, then i do always welcome comment.  Just, i ask, that you keep it friendly.

Irons in the fire!

Posted: April 24, 2015 in Writing
Tags: ,

Being a writer, or at least a writer in waiting, it is very easy to overstretch.  You tend to jump on every opportunity that comes along.  That is what I have done. But I have done so whilst holding down a day job, feeding the family, and paying the bills!  I have spent the past two weeks laid up with Scarlet Fever.  Once a very serious disease that would have required isolation and hospitalisation and that was not that long ago.  However, fortunately for me, it was bed rest and anti-biotics.  The hiatus has given me a chance to reassess what I am doing and how I am doing it.  

I have been here before, I have had so many false starts and have said many times that things are back on track.  I go up and down, up and down.  This has annoyed me, frustrated me in many ways.  I want to be able to sit and write and keep writing and before no time completed manuscripts prop up the desk and are piled around me, I therefore can sit back and watch the royalties roll in, negotiate movie contracts, and sit back knowing I have done a job well done.

NO, I WON’T! IT IS NOT THAT SIMPLE

Being a writer is full of hardship, sacrifice, determination and rejection.  Writers are often rejected more times than they would care to admit.  Writers quickly learn, or they should, that to be rejected is not that they are not good enough, or there work is not worthy to stock the shelves of Waterstone’s. To be rejected is a right of passage, it develops the thick skin needed to put your work to the ultimate critical eye.  The unreasonable mass public.  Guaranteed they will not get it, they will misinterpret it. What do you think Shakespeare would make of the endless dissection of his work.  I reckon he will just turn around and say, “Hang on! Romeo and Juliet is just a love story, Twelfth Night is just a farce, and MacBeth is just a history”.  Maybe the endless dissection of literature, the search for meaning where ambiguity exists is just that.  Keep the opinion to yourself because guaranteed it is not the same as the author.  Having said that I am not attacking the public at all.  As a bookseller discussions with customers really opened my eyes, and I thank them. Some fascinating discussions.

What it also have me was another viewpoint into the world of publishing.  From being the provider, to being the distributor I have a better understanding of the process.  Now, if someone wants to give me a job in publishing or  in a literary agency I would know all aspects, but I am at least living in a little bit of reality, not much I’m a writer!  But, I think the experiences we gain, through work, love through what we read, watch and listen to add to the diversity that we can bring to the page.   

Now, I promised irons in fires.  Well, good news, I have recharged.  I have had to, the illness I have just had gave me such a kicking.  4 nights of fever an delirium followed by a outrageously sore throat, then came the rash, that itched to high heaven.  For a childhood disease it certainly stopped me in my tracks.  But I have reassessed the direction I wish to take, and I am starting over, I am going back to what I do well.  Firstly, I am going to take some courses, they will have to be distance learning as I work irregular shifts, but I think I need someone to sit me down and assess whether I have been going wrong. I am going to start reading every ‘How to?’ guide that I can get my hands on.  Relearn grammar.  But, also I will write stories, I have so many ideas, and I mean lots.  I can think of a dozen concepts a week for short, novella or full length stories.  Most will fall by the wayside as they have been done before, they fall apart after closer examination.  But the ideas still flow. And that is what I find so frustrating is that I have the ideas but am failing on the execution.

I need to put in place a plan, and that plan is:

  • Write one short story a week
  • Write one blog a week
  • Maintain a public/social media presence
  • Spend at least 1 hour a day on a full length novel
  • Do 1 major project and see it through to completion
  • Research and write a non-fiction article a week (I will explain later)

So that is where I am at.  I have faltered, I have wavered and I have doubted in my ability and my  talent. But to come through the other side and to still hunger for the success is what it is all about.  I have been tested and I have passed. 

An experiment!

Posted: April 8, 2015 in Geek, Ghost, Writing
Tags: , ,

This week I have a new toy!  I was previously doing all my writing on a net pad.  It was a great thing served me well but now it is neither portable nor practical to use as the memory just ground to a halt and the battery won’t hold a charge so had to used only when plugged in.  So I have made a rash, perhaps ambitious purchase and got myself an iPad.  It is my intention to use the iPad to write, research and hopefully be more productive than I was with my net pad.  

The iPad a obviously comes with its challenges, and primary of those is the lack of a keyboard.  Still this is not necessarily a hindered efforts as I am, even now, typing the blog on the touchscreen keyboard.  So far, so good!  The other challenge is getting used to using it as a practical writing tool.  The laptop and netpad were excellent, multiple screens, easy to save and retrieve data, and now I a, hoping the iPad can do the same tasks, and hopefully more.  I am certainly going to need a period of adjustment. Mind you the biggest obstacle in writing on the iPad is me! And I say that as i am no spring chicken, not old either, but I am getting to the age where i am a little bit technologically challenged.  I am not down with the kids, I have no idea what snapchat is, I barely acknowledge the existence of Instagram.  But I am excited to have projects being worked on this new bit of kit.

So, what are the new projects?  I said last week that I was writing a paranormal short story, this is still in the works and I have another idea to add to the 3 I have already started.  But, another opportunity has presented itself and I am using my research to write articles of paranormal interest for a website.  I am a skeptic, let’s get that clear I know not what lies beyond this life, whether there is another life, a nirvana, or existence as a disembodied entity or even just nothing.  No that is what attracts me to the age old question.  After all so many people have seen similar spectral beings.  Possibly the most common being the ‘Grey ‘Lady’.  So I a going to write about the legends, myths and haunting’s that have been recorded in my region.  I am excited by this and look forward to sending off my first article shortly.  Details, if and when it’s published will be posted here.

But before it can be published it must be written and that means I must close off the blog for today.  Are you affected by any of the issues raised in tonight’s blog? If so than do comment for help and assistance from like minded and equally warped individuals….namely me!

I am once again hitting the competition trail. It has been a little while since I have composed short stories for anything other than myself. I will be honest I am a little rusty. Unphased I open my arms to the challenge and beat my chest and scream my war cry! If only it was that dramatic, generally that entails opening my notepad and see what comes out. I am focusing upon a paranormal short story competition for one of the writing magazines. I love writing tales to chill the spine, i love the suspense and drama of a ghost story but most of all I love the human aspect of it. So, my discussion this evening focuses on how to write a ghost story, what makes it so spine tingling entertaining, and why do we enjoy them so.

I have often written about the ethereal plain in various guises, from a fictional narrative to historical representations, it has interested me. I have done my research and analysed the great spooky storytellers and I shall discuss my findings. firstly what makes a good ghost story:

Firstly, it must be insidious in nature, it must have a rhythm to it that builds from a little event to a culminating conclusion that confounds and chills. A great example of this is Charles Dickens and his story ‘The Signalman’ a creepy tale of impending doom, and I am trying not to spoil the story by giving away the twist but it builds from such humble beginnings of a discussion between the narrator and the erstwhile signalman working alone on the railways, to his eventual and shocking demise. Dickens takes such a simple premise of a ghostly train and drip feeds clues to the conclusion. It is a perfect example of insidious tension within a story…wonderful!

Secondly, the human touch! what do I mean, one must engage with the character. A believable character that one can relate too is essential for any ghostly short story. Susan Hill is one of the best for this, in the ‘Woman in Black’ we are drawn in to the story by the humanizing and relatable character of Mr Kipps, a lone parent with a drinking problem following the death of his wife during childbirth, job in jeopardy, money worries and a family to support it is this attachment that makes the story a classic tale of terror.

Ad finally, less is more. A classic creepy tale doe not need to macabre or graphically violent. The rhythmic devices and metaphors do not need to focus on the violence of someones death or need to explain every gory details. to insinuate is often just as, if not more, scary than puddles of blood and viscera. As is told in so many ‘How to…’ books the best way is to show not tell. With a ghost story i disagree with this, should not show or tell but to allude and insinuate. the unseen is scarier than the seen, the big reveal only works if you haven’t shown your hand already. An example of this is Peter Benchley’s Jaws. A fantastic example of insinuation and humanization leading to a tale of terror that has shocked so many, and Spielberg absolutely did the book justice with the movie.

So these are my rules for writing a tale of terror. I have read so many, MR James, Edgar Allen Poe, Stephen King (who I think may just be the best short story writer out there) and I am really struggling to meet the expectations in my own writings. I have previously published on this blog my spooky story ‘Reflections’ nd for those that are new to the blog perhaps have a recap of that story. But I am struggling with this short story for a competition. It is not from lack of ideas mind, I have started 3 separate stories. the first I abandoned because I couldn’t get the device and style right. the second because it turned into a much larger project and would work as a novella, so not abandoned just paused, and the third I am still working on. It is all a matter of perspective really. For a 1500-1700 word short story I feel it needs to be first person, I know people would disagree but being in the first person adds the human element very quickly, it’s just how you insert the other two elements. Having said that ideas are running with the force of a poltergeist. So away I go to do battle with the spirits, in a very metaphorical and hopefully productive way.

As with all my posts on the blog I invite comments, please drop a line if you agree/disagree!

It feels like an eternity since I updated this blog, did you miss me? I am sure you did. I have certainly been busy in the abscence. Although the writing has taken a bit of a back seat. I have changed my job twice…details to follow, I have been frenetic with my twin boys, they do keep their mother and I on our toes. Let me update you all on whats been happening.

Firstly i left my job as a security guard at an unpopular medical centre and went to work for a large UK bookshop change that we all know. Brilliant i thought! Finally I job I love, finally a job I enjoy and get excited about, leaping from my bed rareing to go, champing at the bit to get in and get started. It did not matter that I dropped my salary by £7000 per annum in order to take the job. I went in devery day, poured my heart and my soul for four months, desingning and creating events above and beyond what was required of me. I, in my own time, wrote columms for local news papers reviewing the books that were deemed to be ‘Book of the month’. Being nice about writing that I found to be bloody awful. All to generate sales. Bookselling has become less about product knowledge and more about power, greed and influence. I shall quantify this. A monthly competition is held company wide to see which store can sell the most copies of the book of the month. It is not a bad idea to help motivate staff, but it became increasingly apparent that it wasn’t about providing the best book for the customer, just sell, sell, sell and by selling lots and lots of copies the company can wield power over the publishers. It was a mantra that this particular company felt it could sway and influence publishers to give them a better margin (cut of profits) as they could guarentee a bestseller. And it works!

I was very good at selling books, but i was, just after new year, let go. I was heartbroken, the reasoning given, to me did not make sense and due to the contract I had with them I had no choice but to accept my fate and walk away. I kept my head held high, I am proud of what I accomplished in my time there. Sad it ended, I feel I was used for christmas and dismissed immediately after. Hey ho, not to worry move on!

Thast is just what I did. I managed to find a job quickly, in fact I started the day I officialy finished my previous job. I shant go into details of my new job as that would not be appropriate on an open forum, it is not secret but is dealing with confidential information. What I will say is that it is a good job, with good prospects and good pay. At quiet times like now, I get to do things like this. Which means I also get to write!!! Happy, Happy, Happy!

My writing really has taken a back seat and as a result I have temporarily misplaced my talent. The ideas are still there, the concepts I am developing are good I have just lost the words. This has caused a great deal of frustration. So many good ideas and no way to convey them. I am going to try to get it down, perhaps edit some old work in order tro find my voice again.

Well, signing off now! I am still here, Iam still kicking, still fighting. I will be back soone to soffer some more of my usual comments, critiques and complaints

Writing update!

Posted: September 2, 2014 in Writing
Tags: , , , ,

It is about time I updated my readers on how my writing is going! I started a couple of months ago that I would endeavour to write two stories, one a fantasy that actually has a great deal of fantasy In it, the other a hard Sci-Fi. Well, both projects are underway and I shall outline what they are and how there progressing below. But, before I do that I want to address some issues I have been having, for those that have read all my posts you will know I have had a bit of a rough time. This has dented my confidence and my productivity greatly. The depression affects me in strange ways, I get headaches when I try to think, this may have something to do with the fact that I wrote at work where I have no natural light and it is under fluorescent lights. Crushing heads don’t lend themselves well to writing. The depression makes me tired and when tired output goes down. However, this will all change, I am going to try to set aside an hour a day to write at home, I should have the time now I am cutting out 2 hours travel and an hour and a half less in a working day. My new job promises so much and I am very very excited, I start in 6 days!!! With all the changes in my life I feel very positive and looking forward greatly to cracking on.

That’s the problems here are the projects!

Untitled Space Story

This project has been underway for a month or so and I have planned the basic premise of the story, I have devised to approach this project with minimal planning, no chapter plans, no character maps just pure imagination! And so far it has worked well! I have written about 10,000 words (although half may be lost in editing), it is a story set in the distant future, humanity have scattered to this stars in search of a new home. At the distant edges of known space a cryptic message is received, a set if co-ordinates that might lead the vestiges of man to safety and the promise of a new world, a new home.

There path will not be easy, enemies, scavengers and mutants attack and pester them on their journey, their antiquated star craft is falling to pieces and the rigours of deep space travel takes it till. Will they make it? Will they survive?

Good questions and as yet I don’t even know the answer. I am very excited by this project. I can see the scenes play out in my mind, I am throwing in a great deal of scientific ideas from genetic manipulation to the great questions of mortality and morality.

Let’s hope it works!

Dungeon fantasy project

My second project is a pure fantasy, inspired by the fighting fantasy books, and board games like Heroquest, 5 tribes live in disharmony, bickering and fighting against each other, but a shadow of a demon plagues the land! Every 50 years the dungeon calls to this tribes to send a hero to battle the dungeon and defeat the demon, he who wins gains power absolute. Alone they will fail, together they will win, but can the differences of millennia of war be set aside?

This project is not as advanced as my space project, despite working on it for longer. This is because of the intricate web that binds it all together. It takes a great deal of preparation and planning. I am researching fantasy and mythical creatures, attempting to find seldom used ideas to flesh out the villains.

So there we have it, that’s the projects, what are your thoughts? As always I invite you to comment!

A new beginning

Posted: August 21, 2014 in Uncategorized

It has been a couple of weeks since my last post, it has been an eventful couple of weeks to say the least! A week ago I was feeling low, lower than usual and I felt more than slightly despondent about the future. I felt trapped in a job I didn’t enjoy. Although, I always performed my tasks as thoroughly as I would I job I love. On Monday I had an interview for a position at a place that I love. I really didn’t think I would get the job, and I didn’t! But they did offer me a better one, one with the promise of promotion, advancement, training! Unbelievable!! I handed in my notice straight away!

What a joyous feeling! To be able to say farewell, to a place I worked for the past 2ish years. Don’t get me wrong, although I dislike the job it had some great people, and I will miss them. But, that is not enough to keep me here. All it took was one phone call to offer me the position to change my whole outlook! Now, I am filled with hope, filled with happiness. No longer will I have to fight traffic for 2 hours a day, I can leave later, get home earlier, and start to live!

I suffer from depression, I am getting help, I decided against a medicated form of help and decided that what was needed was a form of counselling, they call it cognitive behavioural therapy. Recent events have bought in to sharp focus the problems with depression and suddenly everyone is understanding and sympathetic. It won’t last, but maybe it will ease the suffering of a few. As for me, well I feel positive about work, I feel positive about the future. And it is a good feeling. Long may it continue. That is all I have to say really, I am off on an adventure, I will continue to write, to read, to comment as the weeks roll on. But for now, I am going to sit in a little bubble of joy!